Okay, so it's been a week and I am FINALLY getting a free moment to sit. The four kids I have at home are all sleeping right now, so I thought I would try and get a quick post in. I have TONS of pictures I want to post so I am going to do it in a few posts instead of one huge post.
Griffin James Wilke was born on December 6th at 7:49 a.m. He was 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 20 inches long.
Here is my version of the day:
(I am more or less doing this so I can remember...please don't feel like you need to read it all!)
I was doing everything possible to have Griffin. I was walking on the treadmill, I was walking around the block, I was dancing with Dora and the backyardigans on the Xbox Kinect with Dan and the kids....nothing was working. My anxiety was super high and I was just so ready to hold my little man. The morning of the 5th (Monday morning) I was at my desk working and listening to some of my favorite inspirational songs. It seemed like song after song was speaking to me. I was trying to do this all on my own. I hadn't come to God and asked Him to help me or more importantly, I hadn't put all my faith in HIM that HE had a plan and HE is the one in charge. I had a good long talk with him that morning. A song came on with the lyrics, "PEACE BE STILL, AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD." I handed my anxiety over to HIM at that point. I had decided that I needed to keep myself busy that day so I wouldn't concentrate on things I didn't need to worry about. I called a friend and we went to lunch together at Applebees. It was so nice to have my mind elsewhere. The rest of the day went on as normal. Kids had to be picked up from school, laundry had to be done, supper had to be made. I became very very very tired. I had to lay down on the couch while the kids ate dinner. I couldn't keep my eyes open. I started to have contractions about 6:30 p.m. Now this wasn't a big deal for me because I had been having contractions for months on and off. I didn't really think anything of it. They came and went and I didn't even mention anything to Dan right away. I finally decided to call the Doctor on call about 9:30 p.m. Because Lanie came in 3 hours, the doctor had wanted me to come in and just get looked at. I thought for sure I was coming back home. So much so, that Dan stayed at home with the kids and I drove myself to the hospital. This was my 3rd time driving myself to the hospital while in labor so it wasn't a big deal to me at all. I had full faith that Dan would make it there on time!
I got to the hospital and had a very sweet nurse. Now, when you show up to the hospital pregnant with your 7th child, you have a certain stereotype attached to you before they even get to know you. I got the list of questions....are you Catholic? do your kids wear long dresses? Do you make them all dress the same? Do you homeschool? Do you make their clothes? I finally told her that we are just normal people that wanted to have a large family. But, what is normal anymore, right? She pretty much told me that I would more than likely be going back home.
I was monitored for an hour and then re-examined. I had made progress...not a lot of progress, but some! I was STAYING! YEAH! As long as I could hear the Thump Thump of my sweet babies heartbeat...I was in heaven! I called Dan and told him to come! We called our kids preschool teacher to come and sit with the kids while he headed to the hospital. I was sure that I would deliver within an hour or two. My mom headed to our house so Mrs. Bachler could go back home to bed. I got an epidural right away...well, within a couple of hours...and then we waited. And waited. And waited. So my plan of a short labor didn't really turn out to be so short. I stayed awake the whole time. Dan was able to sleep a little bit...until I threw a pillow at his head at one point! (hey if I was up...I figured he should be up too, right?)
The doctor came in about 5:30 ish and started me on a little bit of pitocin. Then things got moving. 7:30 a.m came around and I was in pain. I knew I was ready to have him. The room was filled with people. There were some nursing students that I allowed to come in as well as the regular nurses and the doctor. I knew I was ready. I don't think they thought I was ready...but I was. Dan was going to video tape a little bit and before he knew it....I was almost done already. It happened all so fast. One push. That was it. The doctor put him on my belly right away and he was perfect. I remember saying, " oh, he is so tiny!" The nurses thought I was crazy. But Lanie and Gavin were almost 9 pound babies so when you have a 7 pounder...they look tiny!
Here are a few shots of Griffin within the first hour or so.
He was perfect. He was handsome. He was tiny. He was crying. He was safe. He was healthy. He was pink. He was here.
I am not going to lie. I had a breakdown. I lost it. I sobbed. I cried. I was shaking. I was happy. The nurse thought I was crazy, I think. I wasn't crazy....I was happy. 9 months of worry, 9 months of fear, 9 months of anxiety, 9 months of thinking I was not going to have a healthy baby all came to an end. There are no words to describe my emotions. I was overjoyed, happy, thankful, relieved, and amazed.
It had been a long 9 months for Dan and I. When your life doesn't go as you had planned there are some adjustments that have to be done. I was scared when I found out I was pregnant. I remember saying to Dan, " How are we going to handle another one when we can't even handle the ones we have right now sometimes?" I cried. I was overwhelmed. I really had wanted another baby, but I hadn't planned on so soon. Dan was calm. He was strong. He was the rock I needed him to be for me. He knew we could handle it. He knew we could do it. I was worried what people would think. I was worried what people would say. I was worried how certain people would handle it. I remember crying in the driveway with 2 of my friends and telling them that I was expecting again. My friend, Erin, gave me the sweetest card later that day. It was just I what I needed to snap myself together. She reminded me of how blessed we were and that God wasn't going to give me more than I could handle. (thanks Erin!) I still have the card and have read it many times! We had some big decisions to make. Some not nice things were said to us. I am sure many more things were said about us that we no one would have the nerve or guts to say directly to us. We see the looks...were hear the whispers... and we see the pointing fingers. And you know what? We LOVE every minute of it. Yes, we have a big family and we don't care that it isn't the "norm" now a days! Griffin is here and we are completely 100% in love with our sweet little boy! God has blessed us with 7 beautiful children. How many people can say that? Reality has set in....life with 7 isn't going to be easy and it is going to be a lot of hard work....but I am ready for each and every second of it. Griffin has been welcomed into our crazy world with lots of open arms and open hearts. Dan and I fight over who gets to sit and hold him. From the deepest part of my heart and soul...I am so very happy and proud that God had enough faith and trust in me to make me a mom of 7! I am in love times 7. I am overwhelmed, but I am overjoyed. Dan and I make one amazing team and we take it one day at a time!
Thank you to each and everyone of you that kept us in prayer or were there to support us. We truly have been blessed!
(off to pick the kids up from school.....will post another blog later with pictures of all the kids together! )
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